Marshall vs. the Machines - Jason Segel

Gather round, ye children

To hear the tale so sweet

Of a man who dared to race machines

With nothing but his feet

With hair of auburn beauty

A hero dressed in jeans

He’s fighting for America

Marshall!

Versus the machines…

Hah!

Doom-ba-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-fleegeedoo-flim-flam-doo-da-deegedeedoo

As Marshall ran with all his might

And passed his friend, Christine

He thought of all the times that he had

Beaten the machine:

He triumphed over Pitfall

He vanquished the alarm

He brought the jukebox back to life

With his Fonzarelli arm

Marshall!

Versus the machines…

Yah!

Move along! Yah!

Move along! Yah!

Our hero’s strength was fading fast

Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… ed green

He then thought back to all the times

He’d lost to a machine:

The cable box’s fearsome bite

The stapler’s mighty sting

The cable box’s bite again

Getting too tired

To sing…