The Hole - Skittish

I sat strange in a new city, much too old to make new friends

And I paid a patient ear, and then double for some hands

Cause I am my favorite habits, yeah and I could use a win

But the hole is always hungry so I take it on the chin

And the morning after wrapped up in a sheet

Well my rant was fueled by a high dwindling

So bright hours earlier, dulled by morning sun

Left with nothing sharper than the evidence of fun

I said, «I can take you away from here and save you from these lonely years.»

As she stood insid my doorway, thin as alcoholic’s blood

And her head it tilted slightly to rcall the speech she’d done

Oh so many times before, she said, «I like it here, I don’t need saving

I am happy, I’m no damsel, or a proxy.»

And it’s probably for the best, cause I’d rather be sleeping

When I have to pay the piper and it’s feeding time again

I’ll try again, I’ll fail again, but next time I’ll fail better

(when the fever breaks, when the buzz is gone, take a breath before,

your comfort will bring you down, gotta let it go, next time will be yours)

Aces and eights, ‘bout damn time I trade ‘em in, before the rake,

for a script pad and a pen

And then when the darkness lifted it was oh so bittersweet

Like the end of a long marriage where I missed its company

But my options all dissolved slowly by acidic years

What the hell do it do now, why would I want to see this clear?

Now I’m alternating between celebrating and recuperating

Retribution for the notion that I’m someone’s special something

God and I rarely see eye to eye, Pascal made a wager and so will I

Cause the hole comes back almost every single night

There’s no way to fill it up but lord knows I’ve tried

I’ll try again, I’ll try again, I’ll fail again, but next time I’ll fail better

Holy Ghost, take me home

I’m sorry if you thought that I could make you whole

Separate from gen. pop., a hole to make your myth up

In that shell you picked up, you hear what you wanna hear

Cause I’ll muddy your clean waters then complain about my thirst

Playing chicken with the android, hoping he blinks first

Now it’s 2 am ATM withdrawal, old enough to know better, high enough to forget

I don’t like my situation but not enough to change it (maybe you’re just not

that interesting)

A part apart from partners but appreciative of being included in the whole

Easy to like but hard to love

Cause their eyes are little mirrors throwing back just what I do

If I won’t excel for me then I’ll excel for you

I’ll try again, I’ll fail again, but next time I’ll fail better

(when the fever breaks, when the buzz is gone, take a breath before,

your comfort will bring you down, gotta let it go, next time will be yours)