ME! - Allan Sherman

Counting both feet, I have ten toes,

They’re not lady toes, they’re men toes.

And I keep them as mementoes,

For I love them tenderly.

All my hands are full of fingers,

Very good as doorbell ringers.

And the thought of fingers lingers

In my haunted memory.

In the middle is my carcass,

And I always dress my carcass

In the best from Neiman-Marcus.

That’s a big store in Big D.

There are other things about me,

Which I’ll show you if you doubt me.

Things that would not work without me,

Like my elbow and my knee.

On my face, two eyebrows,

They’re not your brows, they’re my brows.

Behind those eyebrows,

That’s where you’ll find me.